Thursday, November 23, 2017
Karen, we first met when my father was a patient at Parker Jewish Institute and you were working as a private aide. When I learned that my father needed help eating, God brought you to my father and to me, through the kindness of Morty (since you were taking care of his wife, Rae). I knew you were "different" -- honest, decent -- the first time I spoke with you on the phone. I then hired you to feed my father.
You gave my father the enjoyment of eating, because you took your time, and care, in feeding him. In this way, you sustained him.
But, you did much more for him. You took him downstairs to the lobby and outside to the patio and gave him the pleasure of being part of your conversations with friends -- he couldn't speak, but he was still as much a part of these conversations as he sat there, right beside you. You took him to entertainment and you danced for him (which made him smile).
When he became unable to eat, you cared for him in a different way -- you washed him, you cleaned him, and you dressed him. I remember when you first started caring for my father in this way, you were so sensitive to him -- you only hoped that my father wouldn't feel too modest in having you care for him in this way. I was surprised at how sensitive you were to him, in this regard. I didn’t realize that someone could be so sensitive, and so decent, as you were to him, at that moment.
As you had said to me on several occasions, your fondest memories in caring for my father were when you showered him. You smiled as you explained to me how much my father loved the warm water on his body (you could clearly see it, you said), and that it was pleasurable to him. And, therefore, it gave you pleasure.
You gave him the utmost of care and you made my father feel special.
When I was looking for more hours for someone to care for my father, you found Maureen, and then you found Hyacinth, and then you found Enid. Hyacinth and Enid (along with you, of course) remained with my father for the rest of his life. As I had said to you on several occasions, all of my father’s care was through you and because of you. You had said to me that you would only find ladies that you felt were suitable for my father -- that is, ladies who would provide the same level of care as you, yourself, would provide. You wouldn’t settle for anything less for my father. All the special and wonderful care that my father had, for the remainder of his years, was through you, Karen. It was because of you.
You (along with Hyacinth and Enid) stayed with my father when he moved to Meadowbrook Care Center.
As time passed, you developed various ailments that made it difficult for you to work. Yet, you still came to my father, as usual, and did the difficult work of caring for him. And it became difficult. But you continued to lovingly and devotedly care for him, and you sat down and took a break when needed, and then continued your work. That was devotion, and that was clearly true love. And because of your beloved husband, Chuck, and your caring family, you came to work even in the most difficult of weather. I’ll always remember and be grateful for that.
I forget who it was that once said this to me, and he saw this clearly in you, that you had real, true, and uncompromising love for my father. You love was real, and your love was sincere.
You cared not only for my father, but you cared also for me. You wanted me to do something (in addition to caring for my father) with my life. You wanted me to be financially secure (even though I was still your employer) and you wanted me to have a full and a happy life. You thought of me in ways that a parent would feel towards a child.
I remember when my father was in the hospital and you saw that the hair in the back of my head was getting messy, you said that you were going to bring a pair of scissors from home the next day and trim my hair. And the next day, just as you said you would, you came in to work with your scissors, draped a towel over my shoulders, and proceeded to trim my hair. I thought to myself, Karen you’re here to take care of my father, not take care of me, too. But, I know, Karen, the same love and affection that you had for my father also extended to me.
Karen, you were different that most others, I know that. You had a gentleness of heart and of spirit that set you apart from most others. I always knew that. No matter how much you might have tried (although you didn’t), you could never be the same as most others were. You were clearly meant to stand apart.
Life was difficult for you over the years because of various health conditions. But, as testament to your outer and to your inner strength, you made it through. However, your body couldn’t make it through this final cancer. As much as you wanted to remain here, to be with your family, and especially with your grandchildren, to watch them grow, God saw it differently. He wanted you home.
Dearest Karen, you were an angel, and now you’re with the angels. In just the same way I had felt when my father passed away, your beautiful soul, Karen, is finally free, free to soar and to fly, and for that, I can only feel happiness. And I’m glad my father can now welcome you, with the openest of arms, to be with God, and to be with the souls of all your departed loved ones, in heaven, for eternity. My dear Karen, the wonderful journey of your soul continues.
I love you.
